Dec 02

Diary of a Jackie French Fan

Finish researching Jackie to prepare for interview later today.

Finally go to bed and wonder what kind of person stays up until 1.30am when they know they will have to get up early in the morning.

Tell the kids that only crazy people want to eat breakfast at this time of day. Encourage them to go away.

Remind the children that you get really, really cranky when you don’t get enough sleep.

Threaten to ground the children for life unless they let you sleep for 10 more minutes.

Regret ever teaching your children to tell the time.

Encourage children to get their own breakfast. Sure, lollipops are a perfectly acceptable breakfast option. Whatever it takes to get another 30 minutes sleep.

House has gone very quiet. Decide to get up to make sure that everyone is still alive.

Sit down with a cup of tea feeling proud that you have put on a load of washing, washed up, had some breakfast and read over the list of interview questions you have prepared for Jackie.

Make the kids answer the door when a neighbour comes by to see if they want to come over and play. Make a mental note to talk to the kids about not letting people know that the reason you aren’t answering the door is because you are in your PJs and still have bed hair.

Out of the shower, ready to take on the world.

Start to stress that today you are going to interview one of your favourite children’s authors who not only writes great books but is also incredibly successful and amazing. Start to panic.

Bake some biscuits to distract yourself. Make sure they include chocolate.

Ring your good friend and writing partner looking for reassurance because you are interviewing Jackie French in two hours. Have a conversation that goes something like this:
S: I have to interview Jackie French in two hours. Why would she want to talk to me?
M: I don’t know. She probably doesn’t. Her publicist is probably making her do it.
S: But why would her publicist choose me? What do I have to offer such a popular, successful author?
M: I don’t know. I suppose any publicity is a good thing, even if it is just you.
S: Gee thanks. Everyone should be lucky enough to have a friend like you.
M: No problem.

Start making a list of alternative choices for best friends. The one you have seems to be broken.

11.30am – 12.55pm
Panic, stress, worry and fret (in that order).

Ring Jackie French and get the interview off to a flying start by confessing that you find her incredibly intimidating. Smooth.

Finish the interview convinced that you have not only spent the last hour speaking with a very intelligent, interesting and talented author, but also one of the world’s very nice people. Put her name at the top of the “possible best friends” list.

emilybunyipJackie French and Bruce Whatley have released a new book, Emily and the Big Bad Bunyip. It has the same amusing charm of the other Shaggy Gully picture books and shares the message that Christmas, and life in general, is about the joy of giving and working together as a community.

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