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Sep 20

Looking for Direction

More to Life that Idle Chit ChatA few things have happened this week that have really highlighted for me how much I have been drifting lately, personally and professionally.

Rather than launch into a long and drawn out, angst-ridden post, I’ll summarise by saying that it has been brought to my attention that I’m doing lots but not getting very far at the moment. I’m writing and studying, but I don’t have any clear idea in my head of where either of these things is taking me or even where I want them to take me.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I would love either or both to take me to a point where I can proudly tell people that I am a writer and justify visiting the various Australian writers’ festivals as a legitimate business expense. International writers’ conventions and book fairs would be nice too. It would be great to be paid for doing what I love and in the process share something important with others.

There you go. It would appear that I want a meaningful, creative career that pays well and involves national and international travel. No problem.

I feel like someone has pressed the mute button on my life. Everything is in soft-focus, shadowy and half-formed. I even dress in clothes that help me fade into the background.

I’ve decided it’s time to step up and live life loud. Time to get focused, find some direction and really put my whole heart into what I am doing instead of always holding something in reserve and allowing negative comments from family to make me question myself and my abilities.

I’m going to start writing posts about people and things that inspire me here at Reading Upside Down. I’m going to think out loud about what is important and hopefully inspire a few other people along the way to join me in rekindling their passion for what they do.

Stay tuned. We’ve only just begun!

For my first piece of inspiration, check out this video of ‘How You Live (Turn Up the Music) by Point of Grace. I love the lines ‘Wear your red dress, use your good dishes, make lots of mess and make lots of wishes’. It’s time to ‘turn up the music’.

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11 comments

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  1. MizB

    LOL… Why NOT write a long, angst-ridden post? I did just that the other day! LOL. And, mine rant talked about almost the same thing… how I feel dissatisfied with life at the moment, like I’m not living it to the fullest I could. 😉

    ~MizB
    .-= MizB´s last blog ..The Sunday Salon Sept19 =-.

  2. life in a pink fibro

    Go you! I completely understand the feeling that you’re spinning your wheels – sometimes it’s just really hard to go forward, particularly when you’re waiting for things to happen. But I’ve found that if I concentrate on doing what I *can* do and make progress with those things, the whole world feels like a better place. Good luck with turning up the volume!
    .-= life in a pink fibro´s last blog ..A perfect night for a spring fling =-.

  3. Megan

    Susan, I can really relate to this. Sometimes it’s like you’re just waiting for things to happen in your life. Can’t wait to read more inspiring posts! – I need it!
    .-= Megan´s last blog ..The Lingo =-.

  4. Karen (miscmum)

    Susan, I’m feeling a lot like this at the moment. I took a blogging break to try and sort myself out – it didn’t work, not really. What you said hit home, especially the ‘shadowy, half-formed’. I hope you feel better soon xx
    .-= Karen (miscmum)´s last blog ..Victorian Premier’s Reading Challenge Part Two MS Readathon =-.

  5. Meredith @ thinkthinks

    Righto chicky. I’m taking this as a call to arms. We’re seizing the day. Fighting the good fight. Soldiering on (with Codral – literally in my case).

    Coming out of the fug of another lurg, I am ready to help you take on the world. Let’s be all we can be. I’m turning up the music here. Nice as that lady in the clip is, it’s not my style. I’m playing some Neil Diamond!
    .-= Meredith @ thinkthinks´s last blog ..Just runnin’ down the road’s her idea of having fun =-.

  6. Stephanie

    I know exactly what you mean. I started up my review blog as a way of giving myself a bit of direction and rekindling my love for an industry with which I’ve become increasingly disenchanted. Ah, quarter life crisis…
    .-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Book News- Reviews- and Musings 20 September 2010 =-.

  7. Bern

    Totally get you. We are always so entrenched in whatthefuckarewedoingsville, that we get nowhere doing nothing in particular.

    Perhaps this is why some people push their children in certain directions, so they feel like they have done something with their time.

    Use your good dishes indeed. I have some awesome cutlery given to us at our wedding. Forget where it is now. We were saving it for a special occasion. Fail.
    .-= Bern´s last blog ..KIDS LUNCHES – DISCUSS =-.

  8. Susan

    Thanks everyone. It looks like I’m not the only one trying to shake off a sense of constant vagueness and lack of direction.

    I think we need to form some sort of Live a Big Life Support Group. Hmmm. I’m willing to host something here. Any suggestions?

    1. MizB

      A “Live Life to the Fullest” Challenge, perhaps? …where we all share what we’re planning to do (in 2011?) to live a more “full” life and THRIVE, not just go through the motions each day?

      … just a thought (since you asked). 😉

      ~MizB
      .-= MizB´s last blog ..Musing Mondays Sept20 =-.

  9. Tara

    So very true, and I’m floating along right there with you – in need of an anchor of some sorts! Wish I had some suggestions for you, but look forward to reading updates! STxx
    .-= Tara´s last blog ..Multi-vent Monday =-.

  10. Michelle

    I read your post on the train to work this morning, and all day I’ve been meaning to come back and leave a comment. But it looks like everyone who’s already commented before me has said what I was going to say – and said it better than I ever could. Typical.

    You’re not alone. I know you can work this out – along with the rest of us. And you’ve got a totally rockin’ blog! (c: