Taking My Seat on the Rollercoaster

A friend posted this picture on Facebook yesterday and I immediately knew that it was the prompt I needed to get me writing again.

This is not a dress rehearsal. You only get once chance to live the life you want. (image source: http://www.facebook.com/claypotideas.page)

Can you spot me in the photo? Look really closely – I’m the one back at the entry gates for the rollercoaster holding on to everyone else’s handbags and cardigans while they head off to have fun. I’m probably thinking about where we could all go for a nice cup of tea once the ride is over. I’m the one too busy doing the practical, organised, sensible and ‘right’ thing to actually be living life. Yay me.

I am so, so sick of being on the sidelines. Too busy making sure that I’m not bothering anyone else, doing and saying the right things, making sure that my ‘issues’ don’t inconvenience anyone else. Making sure that I’m not too loud, opinionated, passionate or outgoing to make anyone uneasy. Encouraging everyone else to live their lives and make a difference while I organise the packed lunches and organise the insect repellent, sunblock and pack of tissues to make sure they are prepared for their adventure. Tired of focusing on all the things in my life that hold me back from the life I want to live instead of finding solutions and alternatives.

Not that I’m blaming other people, mind you. I’m the one who chose to put myself in the very last place on the priority list. I’m the one who allowed myself to slip into the habit of settling for a mediocre existence. I’m the one who keeps talking about making changes and making lists for all the things I’d like to change ‘one day’, leading to a frustrating never-ending circle of delayed decisions instead of actual change.

Do you remember the scene from Dead Poet’s Society where the teacher (Robin Williams) encourages the students to carpe diem? To live an extraordinary life while they can? It’s time to seize the day – to stop trying to fit in and fulfil others expectations. To not be afraid to stand out and do my own thing and to live the life I want to live.

What life is that? I’m keen to be one of those awesome ladies sitting in the front row of the rollercoaster. Living life to the full, enjoying the moment and making the most of every opportunity. I’m sure they still have a sink of dishes at home that they need to deal with and a load of washing (or 10) to hang out, but they aren’t worrying about that in this photo. In this photo, they aren’t worrying whether their husband, parents, children, pastor or neighbours will approve. They aren’t choosing the more sensible merry-go-round ride because, really, at their age they should be setting an example and not taking any risks. They aren’t sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else have fun while they write lists, plan and wait for the day when it will be their turn to relax and enjoy themselves.

I’ve decided to streamline my commitments, refocus on the things that I actually enjoy and to minimise the mundane tasks that until now have taken up 100% of my time. I’m reassessing the way I take care of myself and my family and the way I interact online. I’m not going to bother with a series of announcements posts about changes to my blogs and social media commitments. It will just happen. I’m going to attempt to be more spontaneous and direct. We’ll see how it goes.

Anyone want to join me in the front seat of the rollercoaster?