This year I enrolled at university and I have recently completed my first subject.

I had pictured the return to studies as a fulfilling and affirming experience. With my mind challenged by erudite and intellectual discussions, I was going to take the academic world by storm and prove, if only to myself, that after 12 years as a stay-at-home mum I was still on the ball and at the top of my game.

Right.

Instead of the idyllic scenario above, I found myself slowly descending through the many levels of Hell as I tried to decipher a totally incomprehensible text book and find something that I could relate to in the lecture notes and forum discussions.

I passed my first essay (just). I rallied somewhat with assignment two – a 14 question quiz (my score was 12/14) and I’m still waiting on the results for the 2000 word final assignment which I affectionately dubbed That Stupid Essay of Which We Shall Never Speak Again.

Yep. My first semester at uni was a real eye opener.

I like to think that I’m an intelligent woman* and the fact that I found the subject I was studying so totally beyond my ability to comprehend was a great shock to me. I found myself wondering whether I had made the right decision to return to tertiary studies and seriously considered throwing in the towel (and then burning the text book).

The saddest moment by far was the point when I acknowledged that I would be happy (well, ecstatic in fact) if I could simply pass the subject. I was no longer aiming for a HD with flashing lights and sparkles. A simple pass would fill me with joy. It’s not really in my nature to aim for average, so this was a major concession. (My final essay mark is still pending, so I still have my fingers crossed for that pass).

I’ve just started my second subject. A first year Australian Studies subject at Griffith Uni which I am really enjoying. The course notes and forum discussions are interesting and I am actually interested in and learning from what I am studying. Such a pleasant change to the past 3 months.

Before moving on with my new subject, I think that I need to make a clean break with my past:

Dear Cultural Studies,

As much as social convention dictates that I tell you it wasn’t you, it was me, the fact is that the failure of our relationship was all your fault. I’ve found someone new. Someone that doesn’t delight in confusing me and making me feel intellectually inferior. I wish you well, but I have to say that if I don’t hear the word ‘discourse’ again for the rest of my life, I will die happy.

Yours sincerely,

Susan

Bring on Semester 2.

* I also believe that chocolate is a health food (it contains vegetables (cacao) and dairy so it must be good for you) and that somewhere there is a housework fairy who has my name on her ToDo list, so my opinion might not be entirely reliable.

It’s been quite a few years since I have attempted university studies and I admit I’m excited about starting an Arts degree at Macquarie Uni (through Open Universities) at the beginning of March.

Last week I ordered the text book for my first subject, Cultural Studies: Theory and Practice by Chris Baker, which surprisingly arrived at my doorstep only two days later. Unfortunately, in the place of the laid-back Arts degree text book I was expecting, I received a book filled with some rather large words and an intimidating number of topics and subtopics.

Panic set in as I wondered what on earth I was getting myself into.

After ten and a half years at home with at least one child fulltime, I’m left wondering whether I’m still able to function mentally on a level that involves discussions with words of more than 3 syllables. Some days it’s a miracle that I can even remember my own name, how am I supposed to intelligently compose an essay on topics like ’subject positions and the politics of representation’ or ‘The institutions of modernity: the dynamism of capitalist modernity’.

I feel like Dorothy walking fearfully through the enchanted woods near Oz. ‘Isms’, ‘ists’ and ‘tions’. Oh, my!

I can relate to Seraphim’s recent post at Oh, the Possibilities where she discusses loosing her ability to turn off her mother-brain. Opportunities to discuss subjects that aren’t in some way related to children and family life can be few and far between for a stay-at-home mum and when the opportunity does present itself, it can be quite difficult to refocus.

I’m psyching myself up for an interesting few weeks as I try to kick start my long neglected brain and switch into university mode. I’m not sure whether it’s possible, but I’m willing to try and I’m looking forward to challenging myself with this course.  

Wish me luck.

A few weeks ago I finally took the plunge and enrolled in a university degree. With my youngest child starting school in 2010, I’ve decided to tackle some of the challenges that have been on hold for the past few years.

I have enrolled in an Arts degree with Macquarie University online through the Open Universities website. All far too easy – click here, fill in this field and before you know it, you’re enrolled.

It has been a few years since I last attempted university studies. Although I know several women who have completed uni degrees while caring for their young children, I’ve never been able to find quite the right balance when the kids were young. I clearly remember sitting in a hospital bed the day after my younger son was born completing an assignment that was due at the end of the week and two months later trying to complete a three hour written exam while breast-feeding. Ahh, fun times indeed.

Now that all three of my children are at school, the plan is that I will have time during the day to complete my studies. Whether this will actually work remains to be seen. I am choosing to believe the university when they tell me I will only require 10 hours per week to complete all the necessary reading and assignments. After all, why would they lie to me?

I’m going to keep track of my progress at uni here on Reading Upside Down. The core subject stream for my degree is Critical and Cultural Studies and I’m looking forward to the interesting range of subjects included in both the degree and the range of electives I can choose. I’m starting out with one subject per term and the first subject is Text, Image & Culture which is due to start officially on the 1st March.

Wish me luck!