Thanks to the wonderful Sarah (@SeraphimSP) and Carol (@CarolDuncan) the Twitterverse has united to raise awareness of a very important cause.

On Friday September 3rd, Carol and Sarah are asking tweeps to turn their avatars pink and join them in promoting breast self-examination.

Both Carol and Sarah know women that have been impacted by breast cancer (click on their names to go to their blog posts about #FeelThemUpFriday). In one of those co-incidences that happens so often in Newcastle, the young swim instructor that so inspired Carol is my cousin.

For me, breast cancer came a step closer last year when my mother was diagnosed with ductal carcinoma in situ which resulted in two attempts at lumpectomy before my mother finally chose to have a complete mastectomy.

My mother’s cancer wasn’t clearly visible on mammography. She had to progress to fine needed biopsy before there was a clear diagnosis. If she hadn’t been aware of her own body and the changes that had occurred, her treatment might not have been so timely nor her prognosis as positive as it is.

Many years ago when I lived in Orange I went along to a women’s health talk where the guest speaker greeted us by handing around some ‘sample’ breasts and telling us all to ‘have a good feel’. Most of the demonstration breasts contained at least one lump and we were encouraged to see if we could find them. In the beginning we were a bit self-concious, but it didn’t take too long for people to relax and it was amazing as we chatted to discover that the only women who did check their breasts regularly were those who had close encounters with breast cancer through friends and/or family.

Breast self-examination is free and it could mean an early detection and diagnosis that could save your life. Why wouldn’t you check regularly?

Not sure what to do? The Breast Cancer Australia website has an easy to follow guide to breast self-examination.

Join the pink revolution on Twitter this week to help raise awareness of breast health. Follow the #FeelThemUpFriday chat on Friday. I’m sure it will be not only informative but highly entertaining and probably just a little bit naughty at times. Do yourself and others a favour by promoting breast health awareness.

Back when I was toying with the idea of homeschooling my children, I read a book about an American family that homeschooled their four sons (2 natural, 2 adopted) up to college age. The priority for this family was to encourage their sons to develop all the necessary academic skills, but they did this by encouraging the boys to follow their own passions and interests. For example, if an essay needed to be written, one with an interest in mechanics might write it on antique cars while another with an interest in astronomy might write it on the planets. It’s probably worth mentioning 3 of the four sons went on to attend Harvard.

While I ended up going down another path education-wise, the teaching philosophy stuck with me – that children learn best when they are learning about things that they love. I’ve tried to work this philosophy into the lives of my children, encouraging them to follow their passions and interests and offering them opportunities to learn that incorporate subjects and activities that naturally interest them. I’m sure that there is a technical term for this approach – child directed learning or some such – but for me it has simply been about offering my inquisitive children the opportunity to learn and have fun at the same time.

My children are extremely intelligent and if I was a little more focused and a little more disciplined in getting them to practice and reinforce the lessons they learn at school, I have no doubt that they would excel beyond their already excellent results. I am currently in the situation of having to decide whether to register my older son to sit the entrance exam for a local selective school for high school and I have spent no small amount of time weighing up the pros and cons of his options.

If it was simply a matter of choosing which school would offer the highest quality education for his high school years and produce the best academic results, the selective school would win out over his current school without a second thought. Is that all there is to it, though? The philosophy behind the My School website would no doubt say that it is. I should simply seek out the school achieving the highest overall results in English and Mathematics and sign him up, but I can’t help thinking that there is more to it than that.

I think that there is more to life than being smart and getting top grades. There. I’ve said it and my still-longing-to-be-teacher’s-pet heart has trembled, but it hasn’t stopped beating. My children’s intelligence is only one part of who they are and to be happy, I think they need to develop all the aspects of themselves – creativity, faith, emotional intelligence, social skills,friendships, a sense of humour, the ability to simply relax and have fun, a sense of purpose and self-worth. These things are all just as important as academic achievement in my mind for their ongoing mental and physical wellbeing.

For my children to be happy, which is what I want for them, I believe that they will need to use their intellect. It is part of who they are and one of the gifts that they have been blessed with. I don’t believe that they would ever be truly happy without being involved in something that kept them mentally stimulated. I want them to work hard and always do their best at their studies so that they can achieve their academic potential and give themselves the widest range of choices for future career possibilities, but I want them to know this is just one part of who they are and what they can achieve.

I watch parents of young children focused on steering their kids along a path that will offer them the greatest potential for academic success or even future career success, but my focus for my children will be to encourage them to follow their passion, to be brave enough to dream big dreams and then know that with hard work, perseverance and passion that they will be able to bring those dreams to life.

Academic achievement is important and we place a high value on education and knowledge in our home, but my highest priority is to see my children grow into well-rounded individuals with a real sense of purpose and joy and enthusiasm for life, not simply a career path and a 10 year plan.

That’s my passion and that’s what drives me as I love and encourage my children and help them to become all that they are capable of being.

I recently took part in a blog meme titled ‘How Aussie Are You?’. It was simply meant as a bit of fun, especially since my aversion to sport, meat pies and the outdoors often makes me wonder whether there is something my parents aren’t telling me about my true nationality.

One question, about having an ‘actual conversation’ with an Indigenous Australian, did get me thinking. I think the wording of the question is clumsy, but I have assumed that the word ‘actual’ was used to imply that the conversation was one of substance rather than simply words exchanged with a tour guide, gift shop staff member or other superficial ‘tourist’ conversation.

The question came to mind again when late last week I found myself chatting with a complete stranger at a coffee shop where I was killing time with my two sons while waiting for an appointment.

An older lady was sitting alone at an adjacent table and after exchanging a few meaningless comments, I invited her to join us. For the next 40 minutes I had the most fascinating conversation with this woman as she talked about her younger years as a teacher in New Guinea, her Swedish ancestry and her love of drawing and classical music. Complete strangers, we managed to cover a lot of conversational ground and I was fascinated and inspired by the information she shared about her life story.

What I shared with this woman was an ‘actual conversation’. Not idle chit chat, my aversion to which I have referred to before, but a meaningful exchange of ideas and information. We didn’t get personal – I have no idea of her name, political preferences or religious beliefs for example – but we did engage in a conversation that went beyond the superficial.

We live in such a busy world. We are constantly rushing from one place to the next with minds cluttered with endless ‘to do’ lists and schedules, leaving little time or attention for engaging in meaningful conversation with those closest too us, let alone with acquaintances or strangers. I’m so glad that I took the time to include this woman in our lives, however briefly, and I hope that she went home that afternoon feeling that she had connected with someone as well.

Excluding family and close friends, when was the last time you took the time to have an ‘actual conversation’ with someone? Do you ever strike up a conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop, on your bus or train journey home from work or with one of the mums at school? Do you keep thinks light and fluffy conversation-wise unless you’re with close friends? Do you wish you had more time to stop and smell the conversational roses?

My kids are not quite normal.

I say that with great affection and pride. I like to refer to them as quirky and I will occasionally laugh fondly with my friends about some of their not-quite-mainstream habits or comments, but underneath I am very proud that they are confident enough to be who they are and not act a certain way just to fit in with the majority.

My children are only young (still in primary school) and I hope that the self-belief I see in them now will sustain them through high school and the difficulties I know they will face  as teens and adults if they continue to march to the beat of a different drum – the crises of confidence, the bouts of self-doubt, the friends that will distance themselves and criticise.

How do I know that this is what is ahead for my children? Because at the grand old age of.. ahem.. almost 40, I’m still experiencing the hurtful feedback that can come from people who are threatened by those who don’t conform. You see, I’m not quite normal myself.

“What’s normal? There is no normal?” I hear you cry, and you’re right. When we get down to it, we’re all individuals (except for that guy in the crowd in The Life of Brian), but generally speaking some personalities and preferences are ‘more’ normal than others and seem to cause fewer waves.

I’ve been told more than once, including several times recently, that I need to try harder to fit in with what others are doing. That I should attend events that don’t interest me because they interest the majority, will give me an opportunity to connect with others and I might just find that I enjoy myself if I would simply stop being so difficult. A grain of truth in there? Quite possibly, but there is also a rather disheartening message that not only do I not know my own mind, but I would benefit from being less like myself and more like everyone else.

It’s a kind of harsh message to give someone, don’t you think? – You’re okay, but you’d really be much nicer if you were more like everyone else.

I’m really not quite sure what it is exactly about my personality that has led others to offer me this helpful piece of advice over the years. Maybe I’m too outspoken. I have strong opinions on many topics, but I’d like to think that I’m happy for others to have strong opinions too. I do love a good debate and it’s a little hard to debate someone who agrees with you whole-heartedly and without reservation.

I’m also not good at small talk, especially the kind of superficial chatter that often happens in large groups of women, but I LOVE to really talk with someone and get to know them better – to chat about what is really important to them and learn about what makes them tick. I love to have my own horizons expanded by hearing about the experiences and passions of others.

I am passionate about the written word (both as a writer and reader), have an almost overwhelming love of knowledge and abhorrence of ignorance, have an offbeat sense of humour and exceptionally daggy taste in music.

Today, as I have once again justified to others and myself my decision to not attend a particular social event, I have been left feeling a little bit less than I was at the start of the day – a little bit less valued, a little bit less worthwhile, a little bit less likeable. No doubt I will wake in the morning once again ready to face the day with a smile on my face, but for now I’m feeling just a little down.

I know that I’m not alone and that there are many quirky, amazing, incredible people out there. I salute you, all of you, as you live your lives with a personal integrity that helps you to stand tall and true in the face of the confused looks and undermining words of others.

Vive la différence!

As a follow on from my recent post about there being more to life than chit chat, I thought I would start a new feature where I post about some of the great people that I do chat with regularly, especially the authors that I have had the opportunity to talk with.

Rather than post a transcript of my interviews, I thought I would include a few quotes and then some random thoughts on what we discussed. Recently I’ve talked with Marina Lewycka, Gabrielle Wang and Anita Heiss, so I should have plenty to get started with from those conversations.

Stay tuned.